What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

{RING} {RING}

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Is heroin really as good as people say it is?

Sure no problem officer.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hey girls can we see some anal play?

Yes sir it is.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What caused the stock market to crash?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

After a few moments he returns.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

How can I remove decimals in math?

HELLO

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Since the Brits can't steer their oil tanker, what makes them think they can take on Russia?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?